Allegedly, a city law exists in Fairbanks, Alaska that states that it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.  That law is pretty reasonable.  After all, moose are big, and wild, and strong.  While they are not normally aggressive, it is possible to provoke them into charging, which would be a really bad thing.  Odds are, if you fed one a shot of tequila or a nip of single malt scotch whiskey, you’d be dealing with one provoked moose.

While the full text of this law is not readily available, there are plenty of stories out there about drunk moose incidents.  These incidents, however, are not spawned by a human feeding booze to a moose.  Rather, fruit falls of a tree, ferments, and the moose eats the fruit.  Moose becomes drunk.  Calamity (not hilarity) ensues.

One story floating around out there takes place in Stockholm, Sweden, rather than in Alaska.  A momma moose and a baby moose ate some fermented apples out of an elderly couple’s yard.  They staggered around the yard and frightened the people who lived in the house.  The police came and scared away the drunk moose and her calf.   Everyone relaxed. Bad idea, because the drunk moose and baby drunk moose come back for more apples, because Gee, those were good.  A neighboring hunter released his dog, and scared away drunk moose et al again.  The homeowners made sure to pick up all the yummy apples so that there would be no temptation forthe  apple-seeking moose again.

Similar stories are pretty common in areas where moose are indigenous.  People report that drunk moose are a lot like drunk people.  Some get terribly aggressive and scary, some get overly friendly, and some just vomit all over the place.  Nice.

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And no, it wasn’t  because he had “Rio” stuck in his head for two weeks straight.  In 2000, a Los Angeles man sued Duran Duran because the band’s website had displayed his phone number to call for tickets and merchandise. 

Cornell Zachary (one of those guys with two first names, or a first name for a last name and a last name for a first name, as it were) was 56 or 57 at the time of the incident.  He had been assigned the Los Angeles phone number about a year before it mistakenly appeared on the Duran Duran website, and rather than changing his phone number, he sued the band.

Zachary complained that his phone rang around the clock.  He said he literally received millions of phone calls.  These phone calls caused him to have elevated blood pressure, which in turn made him a stroke risk and very..well…stressed out.  Simon LeBon and Nick Rhodes were named in the lawsuit, though I doubt they had anything to do with the typo on their website.

The most frustrating thing about this?  I cannot, for the life of me, find out what happened in this lawsuit.  I can find three different internet articles from 2000 that talk about this wacky lawsuit, but nothing is out there about the result.  Did he win?  He was suing for a hefty sum – in the millions. 

The suit was filed July 28, 2000.  That’s almost a decade ago.  Zachary sued, I found out about it, and now I am impotent with ignorance.  If you have any news or updates about this case, please comment!

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