Just in case you were planning one, it is illegal to cause a catastrophe in Utah.  Just in case you don’t believe me, here is the full text of the law, courtesy of dumblaws.com.

76-6-105 Causing a catastrophe.  (1) Any person who by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of a building, release of a poison gas, radioactive material, or other harmful or destructive force or substance, or by any other means, causes a widespread injury or damage to persons or property is guilty of causing a catastrophe. (2) Causing a catastrophe is a felony of the second degree if the person causes it knowingly and a class A misdemeanor if caused recklessly.
Enacted by Chapter 196, 1973 General Session

So, provided that you’re not really out to cause a catastrophe INTENTIONALLY, let’s go over some basics to make sure you don’t cause one “recklessly.”  Because that’s still a misdemeanor, Dawg.

Explosions

Utah fireworks laws specifically prohibit firecrackers, cherry bombs, cannon crackers, roman candles, chasers, whistlers, and salutes.  You’re allowed to have ground spinners, flitter sparklers, fountains (so long as they don’t go higher than fifteen feet), snakes, and glow worms.  So that’s good.

Fire

Don’t set fires, unless they’re in your fireplace, and you’re not stupid.

Flood

As long as you manage not to damage any of the 384 dam locations found in Utah, I think you’re pretty safe.

Avalanche

According to the Friends of Utah Avalanche Center, it is possible to set off an avalanche in Utah, so this is a real problem.  I image that if you’re super careful and STILL set off an avalanche you’re in the clear.  It’s RECKLESSLY setting off an avalanche that can get you in trouble.  Avalanches are pretty common in Utah, so if you want to avoid them I’d suggest staying out of the snow.

Collapse of a Building

Don’t collapse buildings.  Not even for fun.

Release of a Poison Gas

Stay away from poison gases.

Radioactive Material

Really?  Unless you’re an evil genius (and if you are, you’re probably ALL ABOUT causing a catastrophe) you probably don’t have access to radioactive materials.  Oh yeah, and if you’re a scientist you do.  But if you’re a scientist you know how to handle that stuff.  Right?  Right??

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OK.  I know I’ve said it before.  But I love weird laws.  I love stupid laws even more.  Check this one out – here’s the full text of the law:

“45-5-627.  Ritual abuse of minor – exceptions – penalty.  1)  A person commits the offense of ritual abuse of a minor if the person purposely or knowingly and as part of any ceremony, rite, or ritual or of any training or practice for any ceremony, rite, or ritual:

b)  actually or by simulation tortures, mutilates, or sacrifices an animal or person in the presence of a minor.”

To sum up, don’t kill an animal in front of a kid as part of a ceremony, rite, or ritual (even if it’s just practice for the ritual, rite, or ceremony).  If you break this rule, you are abusing that kid.

So if we have this right, this is OK:

But this isn’t:

Cool.  Gotcha.  If it’s just for “sport” and the head ends up on the wall, it’s a OK to kill it in front of junior.  If it’s for “God” and the head ends up on, say, YOU or some shaman or mystical conduit of God, it’s a no-no.

But only in Montana!

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