Allegedly, a city law exists in Fairbanks, Alaska that states that it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.  That law is pretty reasonable.  After all, moose are big, and wild, and strong.  While they are not normally aggressive, it is possible to provoke them into charging, which would be a really bad thing.  Odds are, if you fed one a shot of tequila or a nip of single malt scotch whiskey, you’d be dealing with one provoked moose.

While the full text of this law is not readily available, there are plenty of stories out there about drunk moose incidents.  These incidents, however, are not spawned by a human feeding booze to a moose.  Rather, fruit falls of a tree, ferments, and the moose eats the fruit.  Moose becomes drunk.  Calamity (not hilarity) ensues.

One story floating around out there takes place in Stockholm, Sweden, rather than in Alaska.  A momma moose and a baby moose ate some fermented apples out of an elderly couple’s yard.  They staggered around the yard and frightened the people who lived in the house.  The police came and scared away the drunk moose and her calf.   Everyone relaxed. Bad idea, because the drunk moose and baby drunk moose come back for more apples, because Gee, those were good.  A neighboring hunter released his dog, and scared away drunk moose et al again.  The homeowners made sure to pick up all the yummy apples so that there would be no temptation forthe  apple-seeking moose again.

Similar stories are pretty common in areas where moose are indigenous.  People report that drunk moose are a lot like drunk people.  Some get terribly aggressive and scary, some get overly friendly, and some just vomit all over the place.  Nice.

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Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 136 and Chapter 149 are what are commonly called “Blue Laws.”  American Blue Laws, by definition, enforce religious (particularly Christian) laws.  Not many states still enforce their Blue Laws, because, well, cash is king and most states and towns are way too hungry for commerce to cut out a whole day of money-making.

The name “Blue Law” was originally thought to have been coined because the laws were originally printed on blue paper, but nobody has any proof that the rumor is true.  Reverend Samuel Peters likely named the laws Blue Laws because the world “blue” was a euphemism for a strict moral law.  People who adhered or enforced said laws were called “bluenoses.”

Anywhoo, the whole point of this is that even though MOST Blue Laws are not enforced, there are some places where you still can’t buy booze on Sundays, and apparently there are places where businesses are not allowed to be open on holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Take, for instance, Massachusetts.  Until 2004,  it was pretty much illegal to buy booze on Sundays.  Now you can buy booze on Sundays, but not until after noon.  You cannot, however, buy booze on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, or New Year’s Day; nor are you allowed to hunt.  So, if you haven’t procured your turkey or your vino for Thanksgiving by Thanksgiving Day, you’re in trouble.

Obviously, it makes sense.  How can you buy booze on Thanksgiving from a business that isn’t allowed to be open on Thanksgiving, anyway?

photo by riptheskull

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