Once a law is created, it often remains on the books even if it is not actively enforced or prosecuted. Penal codes are not regularly purged of ineffective, archaic or nonsensical laws. Often, it is easier for cities, states and countries to simply ignore them after they become absurd for that place and time. So at one time or another, your friendly local ordinance regulating bear wrestling or whether or not you could lawfully keep alligators in your bathtub was the law of the land. The following are some of the weirdest laws of the past and present that the United States has to offer:

Weird Laws: American Edition

Alabama

• Opening an umbrella on a public street might catch you a ticket, based on the fear that you might scare a horse.
• You can sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Thursday, but don’t dare try it on Wednesday or there is going to be trouble.
• If you wear a fake moustache to church on Sunday to get a laugh, you might have more to answer to than your preacher and grandmother.

Colorado

• If you have a quarrel that needs to be dealt with, dueling is not a legal option.
• Ice cream is taken seriously.  A gallon sold must weigh at least 4 ½ pounds.

California

• If a frog jumping contest makes you hungry, the contestants mustn’t be on the menu.  You’ll have to settle for chicken or go fishing for frogs elsewhere.
• You can pickle just about anything except a spiny lobster.
• Hunting with a crossbow is lawful. Doing so while drunk is not.

Delaware

• Hopefully your dog is not balding, because if Fido is in need of a wig, he or she is out of luck. The sale of the hair of a dog is illegal.

Florida

• Baby bunnies as pets are adorable, but you will have to find another furry friend because they are illegal to own in Florida.
• Married couples can engage in all sorts of conduct with each other as long as it’s not “lewd and lascivious.”

Michigan

• Playing the national anthem only part way through is not only unpatriotic, but illegal.
• If you would like to spend five years in jail, seduce and corrupt an unmarried woman.
• You might think it would always be illegal to serve diseased food. However, if you get permission first, all is well.

Pennsylvania

• Making money by displaying an idiot to the public is not allowed.
• If you’d like to know where a good place might be to dig for buried treasure, you will have to seek counsel from someone other than a fortune teller.
• Any use of a shopping cart other than for its intended purpose is unlawful.

Weird Laws: International Edition

Venice, Italy

• Do not sit on the sidewalk and eat a sandwich. You will be found doubly at fault if you engage in this activity sans shirt.

Germany

• As if running out of gas doesn’t ruin a day in and of itself, on the autobahn that act of vehicular negligence can get you in some legal trouble. To add insult to injury, were that to happen to you, walking to get gas can also get you into some trouble.

Canada

• If you’re trying to pay for an item that costs more than $10 with pennies, the seller can legally turn you away.

Moscow, Russia

• Driving a dirty car can get you ticketed, but the fine is less than codified as it is said that fines can be negotiated on site.

Denmark

• Driving with your lights off is a ticket in most places, provided that you are doing so at night. In Denmark, it is illegal to drive without your lights on at any time of the day.

Just remember, ignorance of the law is not an effective defense in a court of law, even if the law seems to be a silly one.

“In this part, and in every law relating to or affecting animals, the words animal or dumb animal shall be held to include every living creature; the words torture, torment, or cruelty shall be held to include every act, omission, or neglect whereby unjustifiable physical pain, suffering, or death is caused or permitted; but nothing herein shall be construed as prohibiting the shooting of birds or game for the purpose of human food, or the use of animate targets by incorporated gun clubs.”

The place on the internet where I found this law sites Acts 1881, ch 169, 13; 1895, ch. 75, 2,3; Shan.,2870; mod. Code 1932, 5104; TCA (orig ed.), 39-401.

OK.  Am I reading this right?  Every living creature is a dumb animal if any living creature is a dumb animal – and any kind of wrong done to said dumb animal is considered cruelty, torment, or torture, and that none of the above applies to dumb animal or not if someone is hunting a dumb animal for food or sport?  That’s clear and understandable…ish.

I find it interesting that gun clubs are mentioned in particular.

I just googled “Dumb Animals” and found a June, 1880 Boston publication entitled “Our Dumb Animals.”  Their tagline (as it were) is “We speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.”  So, that clears up the whole dumb animal thing.  Obviously, this law means that people are dumb animals too, so nobody should hunt people unless it’s for food…

Dinner for Two, Mr. Donner?

or sport…

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